Hmmm... Enzo, Mia and Vig had already posted their entries about the Merville trip.

"does oric know?"
"Nope. I don't think he has a clue."

I'd bet that because of the fact that we have different perspectives, what we have mentioned may differ from each other, Vig, because she left already in the near end of Second Day. Mia, because she was technically not in "our group" (will be mentioned later). Enzo, maybe same with Mia's.

It seemed that the group split into two: One is Enzo, Mia, Selda, Stacy and Vince. Generally located in: The girls' bedroom (soon became a "coed" bedroom ^_^'). The other one was composed of Sig, Vig, me and Austell. Generally located in: the rooftop (will also be mentioned later). Though the dividing line was drawn uknowingly, somehow we still had the aura of unity.

Let's go back... I won't shoot anymore with hitting everything vulnerable. Just gonna hit the "weak points". I'll also talk about what most people probably did not witness or at least know about.

Chapter One: First day, April 25

Hmmm... Ah, there's a point...! Though I wish not to remember it again. ^_^'

Another one: While Vig was attempting to sleep, the rest were merry-making. She left the racket to seek a more peacefull side of the house.

Afterwards, Enzo pointed out that Vig was staying in this certain room - I don't think it's really a room, but whatever. I went inside, to see Vig's eyes still open. I chatted for a while. Soon, Austell came in and joined in too. And... followed Sig. It was officially the first "unity", yet it was not the "official" "initiation" of the "group".

"Psch...I mis d rooftop already. ): i bet d sky's pretty.Ü"

Soon Sig and Vig went ahead upstairs to the spot where Vig loved the most. It was the rooftop where we could see the heavenly horizon with little or no obstruction of our sight's path. Morning or Evening, it was a view that would make us sigh due to the beauty of nature that we witness.

Then Austell left, and Mia took over in the room where we were. Their session may be done, for Stacy followed too. Then Selda.

Beh. I can't remember when I went upstairs too with Sig and Vig. But one thing's for sure: Austell led me there before the four did.

Early morning of the Second Day: April 26

"ei.. ayos na ba yung mga "clock" ninyo? :)"
"Err... still out of order. Heheh. :) Yours?"
"same here.... ^_^'' guess it needs more days to go back to normal.."

I also can't remember when Mia and Enzo went to the... Teka, balcony ba 'yon? Basta yung nasa baba ng spiral stairs... ^_^' It was more of a bonding session where we would talk free-for-all. We shared jokes, stories and stuff.

"hehe... has oric tried to do my 'flat cheese sandwich (tm)' yet? "
"Not yet. I was not hungry last... early morning. And I think we ran out cheese slices... Darn... Just when we had a loaf of bread. Heheh. :D"

I forgot how it shifted to the chickens topic. Since it was morning, they were singing a song with a piece ugly enough to send people up from their beds. And we were cursing them. I forgot too who started the thing that "What if the chickens would return fire with 'the finger'?" Somehow, we vowed that we would make them forever silent when the time comes.

*points to the sky* "Oy, tignan niyo, lumiliwanag na yung sky o!"

Seeing it, we went upstairs to that spot once again. The sun was rising, with it's radiant aura following it. It beautified the skies with a golden yellow tainting combined with an aggravated red one. Not mentioning the clouds that Mia said that one of the sets formed an upside-down volcano... Or was it the lava with its steam? Something like that...

A new day has been initiated.

Chapter Two: Second Day, April 28

I was not able to see the sun itself, for Stacy came in the balcony. We three went down to include her in our nice and wonderful chat. Somehow, we planned to go to the Supermarket.

I prepared myself. Well, they did too, of course. On the way, we passed by a store where I bought the three bottles of the oh-so-almmighty Elixir where Enzo deserved the most at that time ("Graduation" Elixir kasi eh. ;) ). Seeing that we had what we needed, we went back.

Um, what I can remember next is that Vig woke up, took a bath, blah blah blah, and sat in the balcony. The sun was blinding me (Dracula! Niyahahaha!). Bearing the excruciation, I sat on the... Eh... Table ba 'yon? Anyway, I chatted again with her. Then Stacy (or was it Mia?) and Austell followed. Then, I went to bed, lying down, trying to reduce the rate of lost stamina per second.

Seeing that it was pointless to lower the energy consumption (since I practically had no energy left at all), I slept. Mia slept too, but woke up earlier. Enzo did the same, but I can't remember when he woke up.

I woke up at around 1600 hrs. Hmmm... What happened next...? ^_^' Oh yeah... Sig, and Vig harvested some macopas (spelling?), while Austell and I basically just trotted along.

Hmmm... Night came. We ate Pizza. Uh, nothing special.

"Not again... I went through a breakdown. Well, I really don't know what it exactly means, but the point is that I cried again - as expected. As usual, I was thinking again. But this time, I was not imagining about the scenes that usually pops out of my mind. And you might be thinking of at least three people that I would think about then cry. This time... It may be different."

Just before we were almost done consuming everything in our plate, Vig had to go.

Hmmm... What next...? Uh, what I can remember is that the first group and Austell left, leaving me and Sig in the bedroom. We slept at around 0100 hrs. of the...

...Third Day, April 29.

I opened my eyes to see someone lifting my arm. It was Enzo, disabling my cellphone's alarm clock because it was under it. Surprisingly, I wasn't the one who woke up. Instead, it was him, Mia, Stacy, and I think Sig and Selda too.

Five minutes after, I left the room. Ah, what next? I prepared for our departure. So did the rest. But before that, we played a number of games of Pusoydos.

We left... and headed for The Orchard.

Chapter Three: Final Destination

On our way, everyone was either feeling sick or already sick. I, myself, was feeling dizzy. I'm not sure. I wanted to sleep, yet I couldn't. Sig already dozed off.

We arrived at around 1300 hrs. Weee...

The first thing that we did was to go to our locker rooms. Then ate. You know, everyone except Vince ordered mashed potatoes. (Only Austell, Selda and I think Enzo officially ate everything.) For our drinks, Mia, Austell and I shared a pitcher of mango shake.

Afterwards, we changed our clothes, and played. Us guys went to the basketball court. We played a little two-on-two. Vince was my ally. Then... my first injury in the game. The ball accidentally hit my mouth. And since I have braces, sharp edges were present and unpleasant. I wiped my mouth under my shirt to check if it was not too bad. It was. Blood was very opaque. Heheh.

Then Austell and Enzo left. Vince invited me for a game of Race to Twenty-One. It's where the player shoots from the freethrow line, then catches the ball before it bounces twice, then shoots once again. First, I was ahead. Then Vince caught up. Then from a score of sixteen-fifteen (He's sizteen, I'm fifteen), I finished the game, making straight scores to end it all.

Yeah, sure, I could be a shooter. But when he'd be defending, my score stops rising. I never encountered someone with the defence mode activated.

After that game, I was so exhausted that I was already lying down on the floor.

Oh, yeah. Before going upstairs to look for the entrance to the Basketball court...

Me: Uy, astig. Austell, tignan mo o, Tennis court.
*we pause for a second, then...*
Austell and Me: (simultaniously) Si Vigile...

Then I went to the Table Tennis area. Selda and Mia were playing. I was kinda dribbling the ball. Then... A second injury. While dribbling, I was performing some "exibitions". While trying to catch the ball, I was sliding, my knee grinding the cement floor. It's smooth actually, but it's hard enough to create a little opening on my knee. :D

There was a time where Austell was gonna play but no one would challenge him. I took the advantage. Weee... I was better than him, but that was because I have indirect experience from badminton. Then Vince took his place. After some other games, Mia was my opponent. The score ended on sixteen-twenty-one. (she was the victor, fyi)

She also taught me a certain tip in volleyball that was very crucial: How my hands should be in dribbling the ball. My hands would (and were) recieve/ing a lot of pain in my style. Weee...

Hmmm... After, we took our baths, and headed back home.

On our way, we passed Filbars. Showing his gratitude and repayment, Vince bought Mia a deck. Weee...

Enzo decided that we should stay there and wait for Nny or Tty to pick us up and bring 'em home.

Home.. The first thing that I did was to open my PC. The first thing that Enzo did was to go to bed. (Well, not really. I mean, of course he had to brush his teeth, take a bath and change clothes first. :) )

The Chapters have ended, and now we go back to my usual reality location.

April 29

Dom was knocking the door - telling me that I should get ready for our enrolment. Tty would pick us up. So I did. On our way, we went first to Shoppersville to get the 1x1 pictures, then I bought a pen. (Hey Enzo, there's a blue Panda pen near the cordless phone. I'd bet it's the one I bought - take it. :D )

Technically, we were unable to enrol. We just bought the books needed. Then we claimed 'em in the Grade IV classrooms.

On our way to the classrooms, I saw a familiar face - the one of Mr. Habon, my adviser and HELE teacher back in Grade VII. I gave him a wave of my hand (no, I did not slap him ;) )

"Hi, sir! Hi, ma'am!"

Two others appeared in the classroom - Ms. Navarro and Brother Karl. That kinda lightened up my day. Yes. Ms. Navarro would (hopefully) be my English teacher next year. Weee... Also, Mr. Gomez came inside.

I saw yet another one in a different classroom - Ms. Pascual! Weee...... Uy, si Ms. Lanuzga din, nandoon. :D And also Ms. Gaborno, Mr. Bejar, Mr. Dizon (A.P. II), Ms. Mendoza (Science II aka Biology), Mr. Sebastian (kita ko nagtetext siya :) ), Mrs. Lucido, Ms. Regalado, Mr. Cosico and Ms. Nicdao. Andami din pala... ^_^'

Going back home, I was reading our Computer II book - Introduction to HTML and Web Page Design. The only thing that I didn't know there was the <form> </form> tags. Technically, it's obsolete unless with Javascript or some other program.

God... I really need rest. Before I do, final notes:

• I downloaded some Javascript tutorials. It was way complicated than I expected. It would take a lot of time before I learn it.
• WOW!!! VICTORY!!! For the first time, I defeated three AIs in Metal Fatigue! I used the same technique that I used in Red Alert: Establish defences in areas where money is most abundant and open to everyone. Here, I built a vehicle factory to create hover trucks for Combot repairs and an assembly so it won't take too much time to send new reinforcements to the base. I was trying to make mobile walls, but they end up being immobile rubble. Hahahaha! That joke kicked butt!

I was composing the blog for what happened in the Merville trip, but...

Somehow, I went to the Internet to see Vig's blog. Somehow, I did everything that I do while online. Somehow, Kuya Rion appeared in MSN. Somehow, he invited me for a game of Yahoo Pool. Somehow, I checked my Utopia account. Somehow, a friggin' jerk attacked me. Somehow, he succeded in all (except one) of his pilages. Somehow, my peasants were dying of hunger. Somehow, time passed, and I had four thousand untrained soldiers. Somehow... she appeared once again. Somehow, I remembered that a combination of him and her was not good for my health and my life. Somehow, I felt that what we did in Merville would be repeated by me. Somehow, I wanted to intentionally disconnect without even saying my goodbyes. Somehow, I wanted everything to be pushed away with a front-directional force from my hands. Somehow, I regreted adding her to the convo. Somehow, not doing that would still result in her existing in the chat.

Somehow, I expected her to do the midnight routine. Somehow, the volume moved to 6/10. Somehow, the playlist left behind only Gradius Perfect Selection - Into Hostile Ship, then to Creed - With Arms Wide Open. Somehow, another occurence in Merville happened again. Somehow, only my Master witnessed that certain happening because I was cowering beside her and she was covering me with herself, her pillow that could be my inanimate twin because of age similarity, and I think RZ himself too. Somehow, the rest were too busy with their merry-making session so they did not notice a solemn noise from a child seeking comfort from the person whom I was unable to hide what I was generally encountering again at that time.

Somehow, I concluded that I still have not let her go. Somehow, her existence should have enlightened me from every plague possible, yet it seems that she has added a new sickness on the list. Somehow, this disease has no definite medicine yet.

Somehow, I'm thankful that my Master is unlike those that you call "slave-drivers", though I am but a slave to her. Somehow, I wish I was still in Merville, imprisoning her the way she imprisoned me in her arms, not letting me out in the wildness of the wild, the fierceness of the fierce, the brutalness of the brutal, the painfulness of the pain.

Somehow, tears of joy never existed, only tears filled with the horrid, jagged edges of this life of mine. Somehow, tissue was here in my room not just to get rid of the molding mucus that curses my nose, but for it to absorb the blood from the wounds spawned by the sharpness of the tears from my sobbing. Somehow, music was here to make me deaf in order for me not to hear the voices compromising the teases of the undesired, the unwanted. Somehow, closing my eyes seemed like me being dead - passing through extreme pain, not bearing it, then turning non-existent in this world...

Somehow... Just somehow......

April 24

Hey guess what? I didn't sleep yesterday. Well, almost. I fell asleep around 1300 hrs for an hour or two. Before I did, Ven called, for the confirmation of their visit here. They said they'd come at 1300 hrs. I told him if I was still asleep, they'd just have to wake me up, the door's unlocked anyway (and they know where my room is)

I can't remember well if I was awake or if I just suddenly woke up when they came inside my room...

"Sayang! Gising na pala siya!"

It was Kyle. Yep. His hair was long. And Ven followed. Yep. Seems like he shaved his head.

Anyway, they started off with a surf in the Internet. Somehow, Ven brought his I-TIPID ISP card. Then he went to the NBA site, then invaded the forum a little. Then Kyle took over and led us to some wonderful sites.

Just a short conversation:

Me: Ei, pag lalabas uli tayo, nood tayong sine.
Kyle:Sige ba!
Kyle and Ven: (simultaniously) Gusto kong panoorin yung Johnny English!
Kyle: A, sabay pa tayo a!
Me: Gagi, hinde! Gusto kong panoorin yung Pepe Tagalog!
*Kyle and Ven laugh their ***es out*

I went LMAO myself when I created that joke. Enzo and Dom heard of it first, then followed by a phone conversation with Kyle some weeks ago. Heheh. :)

While in the Net, a little somebody just read my previous blog, and was curious about the occurence, and wanted to be enlightened. I did not grant her request 'cause... I dunno... I told her "I have too much to tell.", or something like that. Maybe she was right about it being "too private"... I mean, I haven't told anyone the details, so I guess it's more of true.

Then, we went to the PS. Kyle had his Bushido Blade 2. It was cool. Heheh. It was also weird, seeing that there were two players who had guns (specs: Revolver and M16 Assault Rifle) instead of swords. And also, you could chose what melee weapon you like. There was the Katakana (something like that), a long sword, a poleaxe-like weapon, and I think two other swords.

We went back to the PC after a while. While Kyle was playing Counter-Strike, he was ranting because he was hungry. Heheh. I went down and asked the maids to serve merienda.

So we did eat. It was the most fun part of all. ^_^' Since it was the time when we were doing almost nothing, it was the time where we would share some jokes, memories, and just plain old funny stuff. Hehehehe!

Then we went outside for a walk. Nothing special about that walk though. Well, Kyle was looking at the designs/architechture/whatever of the houses. You know, ours may be the simplest house of all. :)

We came back, they played Metal Fatigue a little. Before playing, Ven recognized that it was a Gundam-like game (because of the combots and all).

Then... 1700 hrs. Kyle's mom came. It was time for them to go.

I took a bath, then at 1730 hrs., I slept, hoping that I would see the sun still rising from its absence when I wake up.

You know, I had a conclusion this day:

Galit ako kay Tracy.

Yeah, you read that right. I'm mad at Tracy. Tracy McGrady! Hahahaha! T-MAC!!! Asar si Ven e. Nung nandito siya, dinidiin niya sa 'kin si T-Mac, ayan tuloy.

Early morning of April 24

My eyes opened to see that it was still dark. Curious of what the time is, I took my flashlight, aimed at my wall clock and activated the device.

"0045 hrs.", my wallclock said. (my clock's advanced by 30 minutes :) ) Bah.

Two individuals texted me, one asking "totoy, depressed k p b?" Eeep... Totoy talaga tinawag sa 'kin e... ^_^' Ah, it was not a granted request from me. It was more of inevitable assistance. The other one? Just asking for Kuya Mikkie's number. :)

And I couldn't believe what she texted me next:

"Got tym 2 tlk?"

Of all the questions, of course I have the time to talk! I mean, it's seven hours before 0800 hrs. come, and you're asking me IF I HAVE THE TIME TO TALK???!!! Heheh. I know, I'm over-reacting. My point is just I have the whole morning (well at least early morning) to do so. :)

Okey, this is a decision I've made: She won't be existing in my life ever again. Even if she does the routine every midnight, it'll just pass by as if someone with an uknown number missed call me. I mean, she has indirectly and unconsciously caused pain for a lot of times already to an extent that I called for backup (as stated in my previous blog)...

No more... I hope it'll be no more... She had left my world more than twice, but kept coming back... Please, no more...

Morning, April 23

I cried once again. This month may the the month where I flooded my bed with the most amount of tears. And this sobbing may be one of the most excruciating of all. Hugging my pillow with a crushing force... Grasping my face tight... It was not enough. I approached people... Because of the craving to soothe the pain that comes and goes... I approached people. But they weren't there. Why, I even texted Ate Nizzi. And I even patrolled MSN. I don't think anyone would be awake in 0800 hrs. Disappointed at the fact that they were absent when I wanted them present, I decided to sleep...

Excruciating... "Quarantined Excruciator"...

I can't take it anymore. Why, even my earphones couldn't take the extremely high volume of the music. I could hear it flickering... Or something like that. It's at maximum BUT in the volume control, I increased the volume by I think six or nine pixels, which turned the music to VERY loud - louder than ever. I can't believe myself that I actually was able to bear the deafening shouts of the music...

Pocket Tanks - Intro first, then Ingame... Then... Back to Red Alert - Fogger. It's been a while since I last heard Fogger...

I woke up at 1700 hrs. - to see that no one replied. I even texted Ven saying "Text me when you're awake." I had to discuss with him their (him and Kyle) visit to our home. I can't believe no one actually replied! Not even a single text from ANYONE!!! I would appreciate it if they sent a message with even no sense at all...!

GOD... DAMMIT!!!

*pant... pant...* Fuck... Fuck it all...

I won't anymore... I won't dial that number anymore... Ever again. I might even not go to your "Internet Homes" again. You two are close? Stick yourselves together with glue.

The earphones wouldn't take too much punishment... I don't want it to end up in my kind of state... I set it back to 6/10...

Damn... Don't tell me you're not gonna reply... And you too. Wait... Static... Oh, wait... It's just getting signal... I won't text Vig this time... I text her too often. ^_^' <sigh> COME ON, GUYS!!! REPLY ALREADY!!! Dammit, this is hopeless and endless.

Wait... A soul managed to lay her fingers on the keypad of her cellphone.

"ola. sup?"

She was offering her hands to be wrapped around me. Just like anyone else, she was offering a helping hand. Only three people technically told me that they're available if I needed to seek the medicine for this internal sickness.

A small text conversation started. And in the middle, Stacy called. She wanted to spread a joke. ^_^' Then went on with a normal conversation. Heheh. She told me that I didn't seem like I'm in a bad mood. True. That's because the bad energy would be released only if I'm under Solitary Confinement (no, I am not in jail). You know me. When I'm down, I usually want to be alone. But when I get to talk to somebody, oftentimes, the bad mood topic gets avoided, and I talk to them just like any other conversation.

But it was different now... I mean, ME???!!! Seeking someone to talk to?! It was grave. I couldn't describe it. It was just grave...

Ok, back to the text conversation. <sigh> Because of that, I kept four of her messages, so I had to sacrifice some. Enzo, sorry, dinelete ko na yung kay Vince! I deleted that one from Vince, one from Carla, and one from her. Finally, there was only a single message vacant for other incomming messages.

Thanks, dude.

.........

Then I watched Swordfish. I really didn't start it, but... It was totally cool. Nothing else to describe it.

WHAAAT???!!! TODAY'S WEDNESDAY ALREADY???!!! AND TOMORROW'S THURSDAY???!!! AND THE DAY AFTER THAT'S FRIDAY???!!!

****!!! Today - no special occasion. Tomorrow - Kyle and Ven'll go here. The day after that - MERVILLE!!! Honestly, I'm having second thoughts about the Merville trip. No, I'm not worried about the money. Well, yeah, it does give a setback, but... Darn. Just when the occasion's already close by...

After surfing through the forums (plural form for the word "forum", may I emphasize) again, I passed by something and even before entering, my guts were already bitting itself. And I have one word to say: ......Wait... I don't have ANY word to... describe it... Whatever. But one thing's for sure: It all begins here...

I have a lot to comment about it, but... ****. I don't want to speak yet.

April 22

Nyah! Prepaid! Internet! Blog! Wah! I missed you all!

Let's go to a summary of what's happening:

For the new layout, I took more tutorials (both for the tables and the css) and guess what: I could make the simulation! Well, I don't know much about some things, but I'm really close. Another problem is that I can't pinpoint the colors, fonts and styles used... If only I could use the IE while connected to Citibank... Darn... Now, I'm having seconds thoughts if I'm gonna go on with it or not... I might be needing more tutorials. :D

For today... I woke up at 1600 hrs. I'm about to go to Katipunan to buy the Prepaid and to do some favors that Enzo asked me for. Before leaving, I told Nny that I'm off. I arrived at the Murphy's walk - to discover that the gate was already locked. Then Nny texted if I wanted that she'd fetch me. I agreed, but disagreed in the end 'cause she'd only be able to do it by 1830 hrs. so I told her that I'd stay at home first.

While waiting, I was playing Megaman Legends. I'm already at the part where they were digging up through a ruins somewhere... I'm currently using the machine gun. Oh, and I've been doing something that I haven't been doing in Megaman Legends 2.

What?! Shoppersville also sells Bonanza ISPs! Yup, That's where I bought it.

Early morning of April 23

It's weird. Dialing a number of the home of a certain person seemed to be big decision to make. I couldn't stick to my mind that it's not a life-and-death situation. A press of one of the buttons there wouldn't make my finger numb. The dialtone or the voice of the receiver does not have the capabilities to make me deaf. Is it fear? Insanity? Stupidity? Personal reasons, maybe? ****.

Heheh. mIRC again!

Saw my previous blog? Yeah, the one about we went to our cousins'. I didn't elaborate since it was just the start of our stay.

We arrived at around 1300 (actually, I almost don't have any idea ^_^'). We saw Tito Boyet first. Then he called the attention of his son (Nilord) and his daughter (Ate Nizzi) (she does not want to have a title "ate", although me and Dom normally do. :D Enzo doesn't have much of the right, since he's almost as old as she is) We went upstairs to find Ate Nizzi composing a mail to someone. She's done, and she let us have the hot seat. :D

Enzo took over the throne first. He checked some stuff in his LJ. Then some stuff in his mail. Then he left, offering me the seat.

Of course, I did took over. I blogged first (the previous entry), then invaded the forum. Um, the rest of what happened in between was practically mentioned in the previous blog.

Hmmm... I've just got an idea for my new layout. For those who are regulars of I-should-not-tell-soon-because-it'll-give-you-the-answer back then, tell me if it'll look familiar. Only the index page wouldn't match that place. And I still have a lot of experimentation to do if I'm to make a simulation. What simulation? Basta yon... yung kanina ko pa tinutukoy.

Anyway, back with the blog. After eating merienda, we went to the fifth floor of one of the buildings. It was the top floor - there were no walls to cover our vision in order for us not to take sight of the horizon. We were there until around when the sun finally went down - kinda like dusk (whatever it means). In the middle, I was listening to Ate Nizzi talk to Ria, and Dom and Enzo (as stated in his LJ, more or less) played the drums (um, Nilord taught them a little). Then, Ate Nizzi's conversation topic went to me. She said "Ikaw, Rico, kwento ka naman. Kanina pa ako dada nang dada dito e.". Did I talk? Yeah. "Hindi ako nagkekwento. I-interrogate niyo ako para magsalita ako." True. Don't believe me? It's your belief. I did answer their questions (although I was unable to fulfil all of them ^_^').

Um, somehow, I asked "How would you know if what you're feeling is infatuation and not love?" "Give me your email address." She said that she would send an email to explain it all (a message saved in her outbox or any other folder). I'm expecting a mail from her ASAP. ^_^'

Then we went back down 'cause it was getting dark, and dinner could start soon. Before eating, Nilord asked "Teka, asan cellphone ko?" Then Dom remarked too. "Pati akin, wala e." I replied "Nasa akin cellphone mo, naiwan ko sa taas (fifth floor). Pati sayo, Nilord, nandoon din. Teka lang, kukunin ko." Actually, I left my cellphone there too, unguarded and unkept, waiting for some unpleasant and unexpected guests to take possession of those gadjets.

I arrived at the top floor. Within a few seconds, I was able to locate the gadjets MIA (Missing In Action, hindi si Mia, ok? ^_^'). But before I shoved the four cellphones lying helplessly on the top of a metalic platform, I took some time and gave it to my eyes - for it to look at the sky. It was almost night. the sky was dark, yet I do not see the moon or any stars. So... after a few seconds again, I decided to head back and return the load inside my pockets.

Before my feet landed on a step of the stairs, my decision didn't go through - Nilord followed me. He told me "Dito muna tayo!". So we sat on this couch that was unclean enough to make a dust cloud. Then he started talking... talking about his past... And talking about the people he could lean on... and the person he couldn't lean on (literally) 'cause he's too shy. :D

He was releasing everything to me. The bad energy that was inside his guts... Well, I don't think he's really down, maybe he just wants me to know more about him, but I don't really know.

It was night. The only thinkgs lighting up our area were the stars twinkling relentlessly and helplessly on the sky, the artificial lights provided by posts within the horizon, and a sign that seems to be made of christmas lights. Until...

NYAAAAAAH!!!

Hwehwehwehwe! Joke! Someone called. It was kuya Elvin, telling us that Tita Nene's finding us already. That's when we went down.

We ate dinner, then Nny came. It was time to go.

Conclusions: We're getting closer with our cousins. I mean, come on! Before, we would greet each other with a wave of the hand synchonized with the word "hello" or "hi" and wouldn't mind each other except for when we'd be leaving, wherein we would bade each other the same way we would greet them (with the words changed, of course)... Now, at least, we could talk. Dom's the closest with the two. (Ate Nizzi, Ria). Enzo still seems to be quite silent. ^_^'

Another conclusion: I would have regretted it if I didn't come. I was playing Metal Fatigue when Nny asked me if I wanted to come along. If Enzo and Dom didn't come, I wouldn't have either.

Home... Enzo was playing the Megaman Legends that he borrowed from Nilord.

Then, I started to surf the net. Went to the regulars, then invaded the forum. Somehow, I wanted to do more... I went to Anime Illusion via Lecimme's link in his signature (syunukiya also had a link to it).

While reading stuff in the "Rants" area, I passed by a username whose name would I never forger and whose photo would I forever remember. Just seeing all those... I halted. I was starring at the username which I have been seeing for a very long time. My mind turned blank. My stare turned the same. It just slapped my face...

Then I placed the volume to maximum, letting the playlist focus only to Pocket Tanks - Ingame. Funny... I'm supposed to be deaf at this kind of volume level... Someone must have tinkered the Volume Control. But one thing's for sure: It's still louder than the volume that I set to half-to-the-maximum before.

Okey, currently, I'm in the house of Nilord, Ate Nizzi, Tita Nene and Tito Boyet. Nothing else to say, but just a remark: One of his WinAmp skins was a Rachael Leigh Cook skin. The same thing that Vig used in her site. ^_^'. Also, he has the song that Harana (a program in Claret) used as a part bgm. Parokya n Edgar - Maniwala Ka Sana.

Woah...! Megaman Legends! Yeah, we're gonna borrow it. And Enzo's playing Nilord's saved game. Heheh. The final part. Wow... I never knew it seemed easier and the graphics were worse than that of Two. As always, Megaman Juno's cool. :)

Early morning of April 18

Mga ka-berks! I've made a temporary solution to B-O-B onlyn. We'll fix it as soon as... something... I don't know. ^_^

Okey, I searched for more tutorials. I read one of them. It was the same. Or so I thought. I saw something that was so crucial that because I didn't know about it, it wouldn't display at all...

"Remove the <BODY> tags. The master page doesn't use them..."

Yup. I had the <body> tag. I experiment again, this time, without those cursed tags. Finally... I saw the frames.

Then I had a text conversation with Vig. I have much to say, but I think I just won't. ^_^' Oh, yeah, she taught me a part of the <iframe> tags (which, too, is very cruicial).

April 18

Okey, I played Metal Fatigue again. Then... I forgot. Ah, my mind's blank... to fill the blog up, let me give you more Random Thoughts! Hehehehe!

• The sources of where I get my HTML knowledge are NSCA (Basic HTML), Resma.net (Frames), pagetutor.com (Frames again), and Vig (ADVANCED HTML).
• I don't know where El Hazard - Love Mania! would play in the anime, yet I like the song much.
• If I'd never left the forum, I would have been sitting on Lecimme's position now - as a part of the High Council. Now I'm too helpless to do anything with it. Lecimme's behind is already glued to the throne, and the sticking effect could only be removed by the powers of Yaten, which she definitely wouldn't EVER do. >:(
• If I would play Tekken III, I would use the character Xiaoyu. Her moves are so cool! And if I would play Soul Calibur, I would use Xianghua (tama ba yung pangalan?).
• When I would type/write "led" (the past tense of lead), I would usually write the present tense form instead.
• I do crosslegs instead of de-quatro. I know, it's more of a girl's thing, but if you think it's too weird for me to do that, then that's your problem. I'm tired of hearing rants about that.
• Months before our CD writter came, I was already preparing the arrangements for the music - and I MEAN preparing. I would even compute the size of the tracks when converted to .WAV, I would equalize the number of tracks from the first CD with the other - yet none of the plans were used.
• Stacy's code is 19201325, Vigile's is 22979125, Sig's is 1997725 Bobbie's is 22152295, Selda's is 1951241, and Tracy's is 20181325.
• I didn't make a code for Kimmy 'cause the number exceeded eight digits - it had nine digits. But, if you want the code for Keme, then 115135
• Mia's code is 1391. Of all the codes, hers was the one that took the shortest time for me to memorize (of course. It is the shortest code I have).
• Hmmm... I haven't checked Gen's code. Oh, here it is. 7514
• MY code is 189315.
• I haven't memorized all the codes. The only ones that have are mine, Sig's, Tracy's, Bobbie's, Stacy's and Mia's (as mentioned a while ago).
• I'm having confusion with Vig's last three digits. I'm thinking it's 1-25 instead of 12-5.
• O, madali lang pala ke Gen e.
• -19992010!!! Now, that's definitely a random thought.
• The volume of my music goes to the deafening point when the emotion I'm feeling is so strong. Specially the anger.
• My music volume's now in the 6.5th point (10 as the highest).
• The playlist currently lies only on Gradius Perfect Selection - Into Hostile Ship.

O, tama na.

Early morning of April 19 (to be precise, 0400 hrs.)

I watched this weird Hong Kong Movie about a butt-kickin' cash-drainin' robot under control by a bad guy. He got the robot by manipulating the mind of a good guy, blah, blah, blah...

****...! Mood shift again! And my neck's aching! *pant, pant* Somehow, I feel tired. The kind of exhaustion you'd get when you just came from exercise...

April 17

Woke up at 1500 hrs. Then I played Metal Fatigue again. This time, the mission was a success, but I forgot to destroy the base. It isn't a neccessity for victory (Rhymes! Alright!) but I want the additional 10 bonus points for upgrades of units. So I loaded the game again. Tsk tsk tsk tsk... It seems that I'm having a difficult time in maintaining the "snipers" on the roof. Not really a roof, but at a high peak - perfect with combots with melee weapons. The only threat are the distant artileries opening fire without even my snipers seeing where the shots are from.

Realization: Out of an experiment, I made a conclusion: when you put both melee arms on combots, the damage combines. For example, the damage of the hammer arm is 62/7 (remember, first number is kinetic damage, second is energy), and the damage of the laser sword is 5/35. If you put those arms on a combot, you would get a HTH (hand-to-hand) damage of 67/42. If you hit the enemy with a hammer, it wouldn't lose 69 hit points, or if you hit the enemy with the sword, it wouldn't lose 40 hit points. Instead, it would lose 109 hit points. I'd bet it would also apply to ranged weapons AND K/E defences.

I was also having trouble in the underground. My mobile walls were being rammed with the cannon shells shot from artileries. They were also destroying my recon poles that I crucially need for me to see more of the surface even without sending units. Fortunately, I was in control of the surface - we could only use jets to destroy each other's bases, which would be quite difficult since jets aren't really that of a butt-kicker.

It didn't help much at that point. I sent ten combots at the base of the Mil-Agro. While on siege, something definitely not good happened...

"MISSION FAILED!"

What the hell...?! Those were the exact words that came out of my mouth. How could I fail?! I searched swiftly for answers. And I saw it on the upper-right of the screen:

"Diego was lost"

Diego was sort of a VIP - along with Issidro (something like that). I was supposed to protect them. They're both technically high-ranking combot pilots, so they were waiting in line in the assembly to pilot one. I guess I accidentally let him pilot a combot while manufacturing the bots of the squad of my assault. And I guess Diego's combot was the first target - then himself the second.

After, I read the Frames tutorial. It wasn't effective 'cause I didn't see anything on the page that I was experimenting on. I'd find more to fix it.

Then tinkered with the Kohr-Ah image. It was reddish, and used some effects.

That's all for yesterday. Oh, yeah, I'm trying to fix the problem on Benjo's webpage.

Early morning of April 16

Pocket Tanks - Ingame... It has a "corny" tune, but when you get to 1:39, you'll hear another voice with a different kind of tune. It's more of love, I think. Then it goes back to "normal" when it reaches 2:13.

What?! Dom's still awake?! His computer's still on... I wonder what he's doing...? Probably finding some more porn. Hwehwehwehwe! Before, I saw porn from cartoons you'd never expect to have. I don't wanna give examples.

Hmmm... I'm not having updates anymore... I might as well know more about webpages. I have to learn more about HTML. What I used in my site is really basic HTML. Everything I've learned came from NCSA's "A Beginner's Guide to Basic HTML". Exemption is some things like the Color Palete, the bordercolor, the "style", the marquee (even if I only used a single one), the bgm (also a single one), Maybe JavaScript. No, wait... that wasn't javascript... it was the frames...

April 16

"Back to back na 'to!" -Enzo
"Thumbs up! Tapos Nakalawit din yung middle finger. Hwehwehwehwe!" -Rico

Yup. We're going to Cabuyao again. This time, we're gonna push that karo to smitherines. Well, not really, but we're gonna push that karo. And this time, we're gonna overnight in our lolo's... Um... I don't think "resort"'s the right word, but anyway, we're gonna overnight in Los Baños. Tomorrow, we're going back to Cabuyao (kaya sinabi ni Enzo na "Back to back"). This time, we're gonna get Ninang's stuff. Hmmm... is this what you call "inheritance"? Maybe "heirloom"?

Quality check... I'm recording the bgms of Pocket Tanks again. Now it has the fade effect in the end 'cause the first records were cut off very sharp in the end. They're also ncluded in Volume II of my compilations, exept for the Intro. I'll find space for it 'cause I've already made a list of what's in.

Sig texted and... Eeep! I've missed the mark! I could only place the fade effect while it's playing. Gah. I'll start over again... I mean, the Ingame's seven minutes and twenty-five seconds, Intro's three minutes and nineteen seconds, and I only have at least ten more minutes to do the job! The time span of both the music would be doubled since I have to check if the recording was perfect. And I mean perfect. One flicker, one error, and it's back to the recording room. And I'll have to edit some stuff like the volume, removing the "silence gaps" on the start (and usually the end too, but there's a little number of cases wherein I don't have to anymore)

Ah, I've made the fadeout... I hope nothing else goes wrong. The following things needed to be done: Record the Intro, edit the Ingame and Intro, decide as to what I should remove from the original list, burn the CD and... wait a minute... Oh, for the love of God...! I forgot to change the SC2 OSTs into monoral...! And I have to increase the volume of Red Alert Yuri's Revenge's Deceiver and Defend the Base again...! Curse it! To make sure I'm gonna use up all the time... I'm gonna take a bath and dress up now!

Someone has pressed the panic button. He's been typing these things so fast...!

Within seven hours...

Okey, I've tested the CDs, checked if the final track was cut off (because Nero Burning ROM said it lacked space, but when I checked it in Winamp, everything was fine - I had a single vacant minute left. :D Fortunately, nothing went wrong 'till the end. Heheh. We were about to leave within a few seconds. I was a few seconds away from the end of the last track.

We picked up Tty from work. After a few minutes, relatives were texting, saying that the traffic jam's so tight, it won't buldge. Nny and Tty decided to scrub our trip and head for Sanville.

On the way back home, Nny reminded us that she and Tty would go to Cabuyao to get the inheritance. Enzo joked. We rode along:

Enzo: Sa 'tin yung banyo?
Me: Hinde. Sayo yung mga parts ng karo.
Nny: O, yan, Lorenzo, diba gusto mong mag-drive? E di yun na lang imaneho mo!

Hwehwehwehwe... The jokes went on. Some things like the prosesion (spelling) would be held in LGV, the headlights would be those lights sticking out of the karo, the signal when it's gonna turn are the hands of those manikins (am I using the right word?), and the rest, I've forgoten.

Sanville. We played......... Darn...! What was the name of that game again...? The game's so simple and so common, yet I would still have a memory block as to what it is...! Bah. Anyway, you'll find it out soon enough. Um, my parter was Tita Cres. Enzo and Dom were partners. Here's our advantages. Enzo: Good in English, so he has a vast knowledge of what the picture could be. Dom: He predicts good. Although he's not a master in drawing, he could also interpret the word well through those drawings. Tita Cres: She's good in drawing. And I MEAN very good. For those who went to my house before, in case you saw three caricatures of us in the study room, for your information, she was the one who drew that. And me? Good in English too (Enzo's still better :) ), slightly good in the drawings... Anyway, they won all the two games that we played.

Home......... Um, played a little The Nightmare Child. I'm not stuck anymore.

Random thoughts. Watch out!:

• There are twenty-one tracks in both of my compilations. I still made mistakes on its tracks. Volume I's supposed to have the music of Command and Conquer: Sole Survivor, although I forgot to copy it. Volume II, the Intro of Pocket Tanks should be ahead rather than the Ingame.
• Although I've never been to Merville before (well, the inside I mean), when I think of it, a mirror image appears - an image of Vig's home.
• I'm too stupid to know clearly what love is, so why am I encountering it? And another problem, I'm shifting from one friend to another. I don't think it's love anymore - I think it's the lack of sanity that I need.
• I've cleaned my room! It's not really sparkling clean, but there IS a major difference.
• I feel out of place in Yaten's forum. I don't know why. Maybe because I left the forum and came back after a long time. Or maybe... Gah. *shoots self in the head*
• I really think it's better if I was stone-hearted. Flashback in the third quarter of my First Trial in High School, I was close to failing Math. Even the principal called my attention just because I'm an endangered specy.
• "Could Sig be right..." Or maybe it was someone else who said what I think Sig said...? Seems like it's going around? Much better.
• Memories from Grade Seven that are posted on my wall: Kada pic (the first pics that I was with them) (one of the two is with Enzo :) ), Sig's grad pic, Linkin Park Poster, and a letter written by Tty on Father-and-Son Night.
• Memories from First Year that are posted on my wall: My Rinoa+Squall wallscroll that some people gave me, the first pic I owned with Gen and Kuya Rion, A small strip of paper from Mikko (Abat) saying "SALAMAT PO! (sa mech. pencil and eraser)!! KhazA" preserved on stotch tape, a picture of my cousin's cousin that I think looks like a little someone, a sample image from bespren hp, a xerox copy of Spikey's caricature of "Mark" with the author's signature, and my '02-'03 report card.
• "Maybe Sig IS right..." I've recieved a reply for a certain somebody explaining some things.
• Whooops... Someone came in and asked a question. It's about the number nineteen. Hwehwehwehwe!
• I've been using the laugh "Hwehwehwehwe!" often nowadays. I'm not sure where/whom I got it...
• Ever since I started to use :D, I almost don't use :) anymore.
• "Anong ibon ang nakakatawa?" Jokes ni Enzo. For the people who play Red Alert, here's one from him too: "Kung ang Korea, may Black Eagle, ano naman meron ang Pilipinas?" Buti nga madaling makuha yung sense ng joke kasi kung hindi, masuntok ko tiyan ko sa pagkalabo ng joke nya e.
• The "e-mail" that Enzo "invented" is now only effective when "transferring" "files". The normal messages goes to the folder-to-desktop chat.
• I've been typing random thoughts 'cause I don't have anything else to do but sleep.
• I wait for miracles the same way that I wait for my life to end - they will come after a very long span of time.

Sige na nga, tulog na 'ko. Good morning para sayo, pare. Sinong "pare"? Kahit sinong nagbabasa nito. Ke lalaki, ke babae. Heheh. At bakit "moring"? Ikalabing-pito na ng Abril, 'tol!

That didn't sound much like me. Heheh.

April 13

I'm looking forward to the gimik (Merville). My imagination's drifting away again, thinking of the impossible things that could happen or could be done by the people. Problems still pose as time goes by. I wanna borrow Dom's CD player again, pero parang nakakahiya na para sa kanya e. I mean, I borrow it most of the time (Especially on that Clearance Week), and I just keep taking it from him? I mean, it's the only CD player he has (I have one, but it's too bulky to be carried. Enzo has one too, but much bulkier than mine. And his portable CD player was sent to the repair shop to be... repaired)) I really need my music, that's why I want to do so.

Since they'll be there, and she'll (I'd bet you're gonne be mistaken as to who this she is :) ) be there too, I fear... No, it was her that feared it too, but anyway... I fear the sudden desire to remove it in the manner of crying.

See what I mean? Red Alert - Fogger just played, and I just removed the rest.

......

Today, I slept at 0500 hrs. (was able to sleep at 0530 hrs.) and woke up at 0730 hrs. since we had to go to Cabuyao again. This time, we're gonna asseble the karo (Enzo, tama ba spelling?).

On the way, I was texting Vig Somehow, the topic shifted to deja vus She thinks it's cool. I think it's too mysterious to be cool. ^_^'

We arrived at around 1000 hrs. We started by shining the metalic parts like the helmets, chest armors and the spears. Nny and Tita Mariel ironed the... capes and other clothing. The rest, either too busy with assembling the ready parts to the karo, or just too busy watching Filbert playing metal Gear Solid Two

Heheh. It was weird, since every body we assembled were rejected. ^_^'

Anyway, after those, I just watched Filbert play. In a part, I asked if I could play for a while. He offered me the controller, and did what he was doing - shooting birds. :D I know, it's evil. He was even contacted by the Coronel just because he was wasting his time making a killing spree on the birds and not on the soldiers. :D

Just a thought: Gwapo si Raiden. ^_^' Yup, he's the main character.

The afternoon was about to end, and we decided to go back home. On the way back, I slept. Then when I reached home, I slept from 1800 'till 0000 hrs.

Early morning of April 14

Okey, I woke up and saw a message from Tracy. You know, she's one of the people I owe the most. She didn't want me to be depressed too. Well, yeah, everyone doesn't want anyone to be depressed, but... she also soothes my mind (Of course the rest wouldn't do it, 'cause they don't know what state I'm in ^_^').

Another thing: 24 hours ago, I encountered her in MSN. Somehow, I told her that I was finding someone to talk to since probably the rest are asleep. She told me that she might leave soon 'cause her mom's gonna tell her to sleep. One time, I said "...". She replied "Don't say ... all the time." I think she knows why I said the elipses. Most of the time, she was saying that she's already being told by her mom to sleep, but she told me she's gonna push limits. More of "breaking" limits. Limit Breaker! Enzooo! Hahahaha! :D Anyway, of course there's still a limit - there too was a point that she really had to go.

I'm really thankful for people who keep me company when I want it (since most of the time, I want to be alone). I'm also thankful for those who want to help (and did help) in erasing my dark memories of the past. I can't explain why, but... I'm really thankful for them.

.........

Darn it, I haven't composed the mail for Bobbie. Later.

Oh, by the way, Kuya Elvin and Filbert will go here tom... later. I think Fibert wants to challenge me in a game of Metal Fatugie. Heheh. Well, I don't know how good he is, and I don't know if I still know how to play that game (figuratively), so this might be interesting. :D

Let's go back to last night.

I was online. On the net and patrolling the MSN area. Somehow, Sig logged in.

"Ikaw nagstart with a violet times new roman bold italicised 'ello'" -Sig

It started everything. I opened the door at [21:27:47]. We were talking in MSN. Then Mia logged in. Then Tracy. Then Tracy left. Then Kimmy went online. Then she left too. Then Sig left. Then I was disconnected because the prepaid ran out. ^_^'

Sig: ako nga magaaccess ng account mo Oric. user at password? :D
Rico: Patay, wag dito!

Heheh. An emphasis on the chat: I talked inside three conversations (although the other two lasted only for less than a minute). One is that very long conversation, one is with Sig 'cause she wanted to know my kingdom number, my internet wouldn't open Utopia, she offered that she would open my account so I opened a second conversation to tell her what the username and password was. I trust my friends, but the reason why I couldn't say it inside the long conversation is because of what my password is. ^_^' And the third one was with Mia.

"Hwow... ang haba na pala ng conversation na 'to... Sayang, nadrestart pa 'ko kanina..." -Rico

Everything ended (but not lost, thanks to Sig and MSN plus ^_^') at [02:32:27]. Wow... I was talking to them via IM for like 5 hours! And here's something else: When I was disconnected from the net, I texted Mia ranting about that and she asked if I wanted the conversation to go on via text or phone. I said "Sa phone na lang". and told me that I should be the one to call her. Heheh. The phone call ended at around 0430 hrs.

Sig: tulog na ako. :) nytie!
Mia: save!!!!
Rico: Save!
Sig: nakasave na...

It doesn't seem too unusual, but it was sooo long to an extent that Mia and I asked Sig to save the whole conversation (she was the only one who had everything since I had to restart and Mia's MSN was also getting wacky).Oh, Mia had a second reason -

Mia: bwahahahaha!!! i'm saving this conversation! :)
Sig: nyek. bakit? :p
Mia: enjoy yung "old man" fight niyo ni oric eh.. :) bwahahahahaha!!! i'm posting this later at my blog! :)

Gah. I slept at 0730 and woke up at 1430 hrs. Nothing much to say, but: I had my haircut, and bought a prepaid card again. Heheh.

(added some stuff ^_^')

You know what time I slept? 0430 hrs. You know what time I woke up? Twelve hours later. Actually, I already woke up at 1300 hrs. because the afternoon's already warm, so I opened the aircon to sleep again. Yep. I woke up at 1630 hrs. :D

I left my room and went to Enzo's. After a few seconds of watching him play Quake III, Vince came. He had his Magic Cards with him.

Nothing much to say, but when I heard Flame of Recca - Zutto Kimi no Soba De, I "went down" again.

I know that I'm the cause for triggering the depression, but I didn't make the reasons why I would be.

Hmmm... I've received a mail from Bobbie (as usual ^_^'). We both noticed (well, she noticed it first) that our mails are getting longer. Hmmm...

Flashback: It was the end of my Grade Seven, and the heat wave of Summer has come. Vig and I have been mailing mails (uh... Duh. ^_^'). I copied her mail and pasted it in an MS Word Document. I disconnect from the internet, type my mail, connect, copy my newly composed mail, paste it on the area where the message is, then send it to her.

I better do the same... ^_^'

1930 hrs.

I'm finished eating dinner. You know, this dinner's kinda unique. You see, while eating, Dom was ranting about us going to Cabuyao, Laguna this coming Sunday and Wednesday. Um, somehow, the topic slightly shifted to the "glue as drugs" stuff. Specified is the rugby. Then, we were talking about the glues we have/had like Enzo took three bottles of glue from art class, he gave the Mighty Bond to one of his classmate, and that Dom uses glue as drugs. LMAO!!!

Then, he was talking like crazy. Want some lines? Like "We should not look into the past because blah blah blah", um... I forgot most of them. Then, sometimes, I would cut in. "Enzo, sa susunod, ikaw na magtago ng glue." Heheh. After dinner, before going upstairs, I said "Oy, Dominic, nasa'n glue mo? Itatago ko na."

I went to Dom's room to make fun of him some more. I know there's glue somewhere there (since all of our rooms seem like a dumpster :D, altthough these days, Enzo seem to keep his room the neatest) so I went inside to find one. I found three things: A small bottle of Elmer's Glue, a bottle of Best Buy paste, and a black felt-tip pen. I went outside, and saw Enzo going upstairs. "Oy, Lorenzo, tignan mo nahanap ko o", then showed the paraphernalia. Hahahaha! We bursted out laughing. Then Dom followed. Then somehow, we all went to Enzo's room... and saw something again. "Teka lang... Ano yan?", as I pointed at another bottle of Elmer's glue. Hahahaha!

Hmmm... I've been thinking of manually writing my blog and not on Blogger. I kinda have reasons as to why.

2100 hrs.

It'll take more time than expected before I recover.

Late evening of April 10

I played Megaman Legends 2. I collected money until I had 3,500,000 (had a jump-start of 2,000,000), then bought upgrades for the crusher. Then kicked Mistress Sera's behind again. But this time, I knew how to go to the "very hard" mode. I played, yada-yada... Here's the funny part: My life remains so low that a single bump could kill me already. I decided to go back to the flutter and regain my life. On my way, I kinda horseplayed. Then, I "lifted" Roll - she slapped me. Oooh, that hurts! Sent him down to the ground. And then... GAMEOVER. Heheh.

Then, Sig wanted me to call. I did call. She already knew that I knew it. Ah, then had a chat...

0000 hrs. She had to go. We baded goodbye. Then... Three times already. Actually, it was four. What am I talking about? The times I already cried.

Ah, 0300 hrs of April 11. I was checking out PhotoImpact (not sure if I told you than I've downloaded it already) again. What's good is that there's a lot of features. The bad part - when I say "a lot", I mean "a lot". A few hours ago, I was checking it too. I found one of the things that I would really need. Thirty minutes ago, I was looking for it. Now, I've found it. ^_^' And I'm still confused with a lot of things there.

Just a thought: Triple X is Vin Diesel (Uh, is the spelling right? ^_^'), then Triple H is that wrestler in WWF. It has no connection with the logic of this one, but... guess who's "Triple B". :D

Late night of April 9

I forgot to mention. Ven texted me about some guy named Shizumaru. He asked me to help him by looking in the net who he was. (I just checked it a while ago and there were a hell lotta Shizumarus)

Then he texted:

"help me track this guy and know his dark secret in order to save the universe, to restore peace, to get rid of evil..."

Hwow, lumalabo na a. But wait, the message wasn't done yet!

... and to eat demolino and ice cream!

Tsk tsk tsk tsk... What happened to Ven? Hehehehe! I replied "Yeah! To eat demolino and ice cream! Alright! LET'S DO IT!!!"

Then, he replied "For the sake of the milky way(chocolate) and to become like the 3 musketeers(chocolate) and to be given kisses(chocolate) by mary(biscuits)"

And another message followed: "and to go to mars(chocolate) for i am ven(tensai) niyahahaha!"

Unconsciously, he slightly lightened me up. Ahhh... Thanks, Ven. Wherever you are.

April 10, 1430 hrs.

I called Stacy. Finding ways for my mind to soothe its insanity, I called Stacy. Ah, I've learned one of the most important data - well, not really "important", but that's what my curiosity said. "Important". :) Haha.

I'm playing with my imagination again. This is what I do when I want miracles to happen. And this is what I came up with:

"Give it up, pare. Let her go. You're not meant to be with her. And if you make it that way, you're too late 'cause someone's WAY ahead of you."

I wish I could stick that one on my mind.

Wow... The last time I ate was at 0400 hrs... And it's now 1500 hrs.

After some hours...

This time, it was Stacy who called. We chatted again. It was long. Ah... thanks. :)

Late night of April 9

I forgot to mention. Ven texted me about some guy named Shizumaru. He asked me to help him by looking in the net who he was. (I just checked it a while ago and there were a hell lotta Shizumarus)

Then he texted:

"help me track this guy and know his dark secret in order to save the universe, to restore peace, to get rid of evil..."

Hwow, lumalabo na a. But wait, the message wasn't done yet!

... and to eat demolino and ice cream!

Tsk tsk tsk tsk... What happened to Ven? Hehehehe! I replied "Yeah! To eat demolino and ice cream! Alright! LET'S DO IT!!!"

Then, he replied "For the sake of the milky way(chocolate) and to become like the 3 musketeers(chocolate) and to be given kisses(chocolate) by mary(biscuits)"

And another message followed: "and to go to mars(chocolate) for i am ven(tensai) niyahahaha!"

Unconsciously, he slightly lightened me up. Ahhh... Thanks, Ven. Wherever you are.

April 10, 1430 hrs.

I called Stacy. Finding ways for my mind to soothe its insanity, I called Stacy. Ah, I've learned one of the most important data - well, not really "important", but that's what my curiosity said. "Important". :) Haha.

I'm playing with my imagination again. This is what I do when I want miracles to happen. And this is what I came up with:

"Give it up, pare. Let her go. You're not meant to be with her. And if you make it that way, you're too late 'cause someone's WAY ahead of you."

I wish I could stick that one on my mind.

Wow... The last time I ate was at 0400 hrs... And it's now 1500 hrs.

I cried. While hugging the pillow as if I wanted it to die from the breaking of its bones (as if it had bones). It was just unbearable.

After sulking, I went back to my own buisness. I made another playlist. Then, it played The Calling - Wherever You Will Go. Like usual, I would sing it. The song was 90% perfect. So perfect that I cried once more... My singing turned to sobbing.

I heard a knock at the door. I closed all windows, and saw my desktop. "What the...?!" There were folders. There were supposed to be exactly three folders! How come there's eight folders?

Anyway, I cleared my face with a shirt since I can't find my tissue paper. :D Then, opened the door. I spoke first. "Ano 'tong mga folder na 'to?!" He laughed. I looked closely at the names of the folders. (Exactly, they were "Ako si Dick Buktus", "Bobo Ako", "I'll shoot you with my 3 little pigs shotgun", "Good habits is always fun!", and "Cook with the new Quick Cook Grill!" - those were classic teases for me. ^_^') I laughed too.

I asked him how he did that. Here's the instrucitons: 1. Go to the computer (owner) you wanted to talk with (of course, you could only do that if you have a LAN connection with a nearby computer). 2. Go to his/her "Windows" folder 3. Go to his/her "desktop" folder 4. Right click, create a new folder 5. Rename the "new folder" to whatever you want to say 6. Press ENTER!!!

Actually, you can do it anywhere besides the "windows\desktop", but Enzo chose that specific location because I'd see the folder in my desktop.

It was really cool! He went back to the room and chatted a little. Heheh.

Then I went back to what I was working on.

I know now what to do with the images to get the desired results. All I need now is the right image to use as a base image.

Early morning of April 10

I've just finished the Image I was creating. I might post it. And if I did, it'll take time.

0556 hrs

Oh, look Enzo's awake... and asleep again.

I forgot to mention: Mia was talking to Enzo last night (She was supposed to be talking to me, but Enzo took over. ^_^'). And I saw that they were talking about trading "prom pictures".

Me: May prom pictures tayo?
Enzo: Oo.
Me: Saan?
Enzo: Sa pc ko.
Me: Meron ba?
Enzo: Oo. Diba nga binigyan ka ni Vince ng cd noon na pinabigay niya sayo?
Me: Ay, yun ba yon?! *runs to Enzo's room and look at the pics*

Wow...

I always thought that women would look prettier when they don't have make-up at all, but somebody actually looked more gorgeous with it - Mia. She was the prettiest (well, under MY standards ^_^') among the girls that went there. The person that took the most time just for me to recognize - Tracy. You know, the only guideline I used to identify her was the color of her dress. Sig told me before. And I think Vigile and Bobbie said so too.

AHA!!! SO YOU WERE THE ONE...!!!

-Don't mind me. ^_^'

I cried. While hugging the pillow as if I wanted it to die because its bones are gonna break (as if it had bones). It was just unbearable.

After sulking, I went back to my own buisness. I made another playlist. Then, it played The Calling - Wherever You Will Go. Like usual, I would sing it. The song was 90% perfect. So perfect that I cried once more... My singing turned to sobbing.

I heard a knock at the door. I closed all windows, and saw my desktop. "What the...?!" There were folders. There were supposed to be exactly three folders! How come there's eight folders?

Anyway, I cleared my face with a shirt since I can't find my tissue paper. :D Then, opened the door. I spoke first. "Ano 'tong mga folder na 'to?!" He laughed. I looked closely at the names of the folders. (Exactly, they were "Ako si Dick Buktus", "Bobo Ako", "I'll shoot you with my 3 little pigs shotgun", "Good habits is always fun!", and "Cook with the new Quick Cook Grill!" - those were classic teases for me. ^_^') I laughed too.

I asked him how he did that. Here's the instrucitons: 1. Go to the computer (owner) you wanted to talk with (of course, you could only do that if you have a LAN connection with a nearby computer). 2. Go to his/her "Windows" folder 3. Go to his/her "desktop" folder 4. Right click, create a new folder 5. Rename the "new folder" to whatever you want to say 6. Press ENTER!!!

Actually, you can do it anywhere besides the "windows\desktop", but Enzo chose that specific location because I'd see the folder in my desktop.

It was really cool! He went back to the room and chatted a little. Heheh.

Then I went back to what I was working on.

I know now what to do with the images to get the desired results. All I need now is the right image to use as a base image.

Ah, this afternoon, I was in the internet for a long time. I'll emphasize some things that happened in my surfin'.

I received a mail from AsianAvenue. They said that they have investigated the case. Their final decision: Elimination of the suspect's account. HAHAHAHA!!! EAT THAT, YOU FRIGGIN' *****!!! You know, it was weird. Her guestbook had a lot of hits and had lots of comments saying "What the ****?!", "ur disgusting!", "u lesbian!", "I had nightmares because of you!", yet no one thought of reporting it to the AA regulars. Oh well. HAHAHAHA!!!

Next, the blogs. Then, Kuya Rion's site. (Um, I'll post the URL later) I clicked the link on his username - and led me to Kings of Chaos. Hmmm...

Then... AG... But this time, I posted. <sigh> Although almost everything were placed left in the Storage Bay, I still saw the memories and the people who brought it... Dakimi Shaman... Amai Ni Azuki... M Reborn, Chop Sticx (or was it "Stix"?)... "This or That?"... The "parties" being thrown when a newbie arises... The topics going off-topic... The floods, the rants, the spams, the invades (and the invaders :) )

Huh? What happened? Some things that I typed in my blog were suddenly erased...! Anyway, in that part, I was talking about Sig being online in MSN. We chatted a little, she was typing a CERTAIN SOMEONE's name in all-caps, then Enzo had to use the net, we departed, I heard something from Enzo's PC - it was Time After Time (I though TLC made the song), that's it.

Hey, cool! Fixedsys font can be used in font faces! (yes, it's the one usually used in Notepad) Hmmm... I might use that in my blogs...

Dominic's coming back to the Pascual Workgroup. A few minutes ago, I detected his PC, and I couldn't detect Enzo's. Now, I couldn't detect anyone's. Tty's on it.

After an hour...

Stacy called. Heheh. She accidentally dialed our number again. ^_^' She was supposed to call Mia, but since the first two digits of her phone number was the same as ours... I guess that was the cause of the mistake... ^_^'

Ah, it's been a while since I heard her voice... on the phone, at least. We had a little chat. I asked some questions about the nuclear stuff (Fission and Fusion). She explained, of course. Then shifted to Biology. Then shared some current events in our lives.

You know, I heard a current event - it wasn't Stacy's current event, but definitely everyone would be involved when they heard it. I thought I was hearing things - I made Stacy repeat it. And after a little chat, I made her repeat again the statement that she said a while ago.

Good thing Stacy mistakenly dialed our number. Otherwise, I might have not know the news. ^_^' <sigh>

Then, she baded goodbye. Then... back to being down once more. And this isn't the usual mood-shift, for your information. But before I heard that, I did have a mood-shift.

"'Pag may sala ang isa, damay ang lahat."

That's something true in school life - and also in our actual lives. It is what we call "generalization". A person has a symbol... A symbol that represents his or her fellow men. Once people stare at this person with flaming eyes, everyone with the same symbol will be burned by the look.

And that's also something with a group of friends - One walks forward, the rest takes the same step (sometimes, the "rest" takes a little more steps than the first one did). One walks backward, the rest takes the same step (sometimes, the "rest" stays on their position to defend). One smiles, the rest laughs. One's down, the rest goes with him/her.

Hmmm... Me? Somehow, I'm selfish. I ask them, they answer. They ask me, my mouth remains shut. I may seem friendly, but sometimes I get rough around the edges.

I can't think straight again - was it because of what I saw? Or maybe I'm just hungry (It's 1400 hrs, and I haven't eaten even a very small morsel of food). Probably both.

April 8

Better watch out, 'cause this entry's long! And it's just a single day!

This afternoon, I surfed the net for quite some time. Mia finally came back to the net. I kept going back and forth in the past few days for their blog entry and for updates in the site. ^_^'

I also went to forums such as Anime And Gamers' Alley, Planet Spathiwa and Forum Control. (forgot the links of those two...) They really brought back the good ol' days...

Flashback: It was a usual Chistmas Break day, in the School Year '01-'02. Sig and I have known each other for more than a month. She gave me this certain link while I was talking to her via text and was going around the net doing somethng that I forgot what it was. The link brought me to something that I've never seen before. She called it a forum. I never called it anything. I just went there and did what she told me to - to post a topic in the "New Recruits" area.

"Hey, this is what Enzo was doing back in AXN Asia.", I thought. I was relieved to have a background from someone doing it before, but somewhere else. I remember that I was the first person to post in that New Recruits. I was wondering why, since I could see other regulars visiting the board. It was because those regulars were friends of the Headmaster, who, along with her friends and other members, a warm and very hospitable welcome.

The username of the Headmaster was "Infalna", but prefered that she be addressed as "Yaten". Her friends were named , "Kenshin 007", and of course, the person who lead me to the area, "Lancerknight". (I'm not sure if vpk579 and Satan Aoi were there already. Definitely, badgirl01 wasn't there yet, Tera the Slayerette and Genesis Tei.)

(Okey, let's go out of the Flashback scene. BUT... The forum DID lead me to the following...)

Soon, I asked Sig who those people were in real life. She gave me more than what I asked in their '01-'02 Fair.. Of course, not all of her friends were already online, like Selda. "Kimmy", "Stacy", "Vigile", "Mia", "Criselda", "Tracy". Tracy had to leave, but I still had the chance to give out a glance at her. Criselda also had to leave, but much later, compared to Tracy.

(Okey, let's stop. I gave too much recap in my life. Now to move on to what we should call "the point".)

Those names... The owners of those names... (Um, that includes Sig) Unintentionally, they held their hands to mine and led me to a different path. Was it something I'd be grateful for? Was it something I'd regret about? It was both. Success, ease, and delight wouldn't be present alone in life. It would also have failure, hardships, and catastrophies. They just led me to a different set of ups and downs. But there's no doubt, the ups were more visible and had more number than the downs.

As time passed by, bonds between me and them appeared. And as it passed by further, these bonds became stronger and stronger. And also, the bonds grew in number. "Bobbie", "Gen"... Life became different, and I, too, became different, whether it be good or not. But, as mentioned, it was more of good.

I owe them too much. I owe Sig too much. I owe Vince too much. Vince? Yeah, he started it all. He gave Sig my number instead of Enzo's. And I think Enzo also made a mistake somewhere. ^_^'

That was the past. But wait 'till you see the present:

You don't owe me anything. We're friends! -As someone said.

So true... so true. That was the most recent soothing words that I've heard (actually, it was "seen" - it was sent to me via text). I have no plans of deleting it. I accidentally did.

After all those... I would leave it alone like that... I owe Yaten some slack too, just like the rest of them.

.........

*texts Austell* Austell! Let's invade the forum tomorrow! And let's revive long-abanodned forum too!
*he replies* Sure! We'll recover yours too. But I don't have internet (prepaid card) yet.

Hehehehe!

Wait... I'm not yet finished with today's blog! There are lots more to come!

1600 hrs. Enzo invited me to join him to Blue Skies. I declined first, then I heard that Vince was there - more players meant more fun! So I decided to play with him. We arrived in Katipunan at around 1630 hrs. I had to buy some things first - batteries (Both Energizer and Eveready. I'm gonna test how long Eveready's guts could take the consumption of energy from the CD player) and a prepaid internet card (I fear that it would run out soon).

I came back to Blue Skies. They were already playing. Quake III... I just hopped along. Then played Warcraft 3 - in Battle.net! It was my first time actually, but I didn't have any new feeling. The enemy was good (the three were teamed up, just like us). They sent us a small batch first, then another one, then they joined forces and sent all they've got - then we unleashed our secret weapon! - SURRENDER!!! Nyahahaha!

*ahem* Anyway, we played Generals after that. Vince and Enzo was using USA. I used China. Vince was the first one to attack. He sent two Commanches. I had three Rocket Troopers taking cover in a bunker. I "maintained the pollution of the air down", if you know what I mean ;) Then the game continued... Enzo was sending troops. I used my units to wipe his out, then moved forward. They were destroyed with everthing he got - Patriot Missles, Aircrafts, Tomahawks and some other things - a large batch of Battlemasters, followed by t least two Overlords, were wiped out like dust blown by a full-scale storm... Vince pissed me off. He made two Particle Uplink Cannons. Most of the time, I was enlarging my number of Overlords and busy trying to repel those stupid Tomahawks from destroying my Gatling Gun Towers.

The middle part was steady - Enzo (and Vince, but Enzo did it more often) would send Tomahawks and Paladins, I would send Overlords to wipe them out, I'd leave my tanks inside my base to regroup, Vince shreds most of my Overlords into pieces, I use the remaining Overlords to resist Enzo's next attack, regrouping again, shredding again...

But in the end, Enzo seemed to have the upper hand - I saw a Commanche somewhere in Vince' base - and assumed that there were more. It was shooting out missles. I kinda helped him - I launced a Nuclear Missle somewhere in his base, and dropped Claymore Mines on the outside of his War Factory. And suddenly... "Vins was defeated!" Heheh. Enzo kicked Vince' behind - It was my turn to Kick Enzo's. :D

After Vince' defeat, I took some minutes to slightly increase the force I had - I had At least six Inferno Tanks and more or less, nine Overlords. Two of them with Propaganda Towers, Three with bunkers (filled with five Rockt Troopers each), and four with gatling guns. I went around the map counter-clockwise (If you look at the map, my base was at "7:30") since he had an expand beside my base. I destroyed his base easily. Of course I could, seeing that he used his resources more on his attack vs. Vince.

Anyway, we went back home. Nny picked us up. After dinner, I've discovered something... MY WARCRAFT II WORKED!!! Yes! (makes an uppercut ala Mia :) ) If I moved the Warcraft II folder (which I did), somehow it wouldn't work. Yipee! I'm already at Mission... 5, I think? Anyway, yipee!

While playing, I received a message. I though it was from Kyle, maybe giving some comments about my General Average (My teachers' mercy placed it to 83.26). No... It was Bobbie! She asked me when the Registration for the SEP was. (She *might* attend after all.) Then had a small chat. She asked me if Enzo was talking about the prom since she wanted to know the feeling of attending the prom from a guy's point of view. I showed the message to Enzo so he could grant her request. He told me "Tell him to ask Vince na lang". Which I did. Then she asked "Are you all right? About the carbon thing". Heheh. "Oh, don't worry about it. Just a mood-shift. I'm fine now, actually. Ü"

Yes, I'm a mood-shifter. So when I'm down, don't worry. (As if someone is worrying...) Unless caused by a recent occurence, then scare your pants out. Better yet, laugh my *** out! (I laughed at the momment I discovered the meaning of LMAO ^_^')

Ah, it's already 0330 hrs. of April 9, yet I'm still awake. You know, it's weird: I'm gonna take up English in SEP, and what I'm doing now is drawing... ^_^'

I slept at 0600 hrs. Woke up at 1100 hrs. because we had to go to Valley Road, then to Cabuyao (Laguna).

On our way to Cabuyao, we discovered something so cool about our van: The seat can be "converted" into a "bed". Not necessarily a bed. Just something to be lied down on.

Anyway, at Cabuyao, we ate, then heard mass. I was assigned for the Chalice. Heheh. While the lector was reading the First Reading, Nilord tapped my shoulder. He was signaling about something. I didn't get what he wanted to say.

On our way to the line of the Communion, I asked him what he was telling me. He told me about the lector. Of all the things he'd do in a mass... pay attention to girls? The lector's pretty, no doubt, but... It was weird. Nilord even wanted to take a closer look.

And we did. After the mass, we went to a certain area of the church. The momment we were inside, the girl passed by, leaving the premises. Heheh. She was really tall. Probably as tall as Enzo. (Um, Enzo's height is I think between 5'7 and 5'10)

After the mass, the Gatdulas (the boys and girls) went to EK. We went home. But before we did, we ate at Somethin' Fishy, inside Eastwood. The food was scrumptious.

Then, we went to the Tiangge. Nny bought some rags. I bought a necklace worth P50. Just in order to replace the first one I had. It was placed in a small zip-lock plastic bag.

I arrived at home. In my room, I saw the remnants of what used to be a necklace. The cross was disconnected from the necklace, and it was shattered into two pieces. Then... Idea. I took the shards of the cross, placed it in the zip-lock bag, bore a very small hole somewhere on the top, and pierced the necklace through the hole - volia! A necklace revived! Hahahaha! I know, it's really weird. But it can't be seen, since I'm wearing a shirt. The colar of this shirt I'm wearing right now is quite big, yet the bag still can't be seen. :)

<sigh> Bah... I'm thinking again. Come to think of it, I'm thinking about the past. What Sig, Mia and Stacy said. Their words were closer to the truth rather than what wasn't. It might be the reason why I'm losing it. So I'm deteriorating, Dom's developing - he even exchanged bracelets with Ria (even if she's our cousin). That seems big.

And in the restaurant, I was also thinking - what if I didn't feel anything anymore? As if I was stone-hearted. My mind wouldn't be focused still to her, letting me see what my rational priorities are. That might lead me to a better path in life. You die, then I react as if nothing happened. As bitter as that. No matter who's reading this, you're definitely something in my life.

And I'm also thinking: Maybe it's just a good idea.

The volume of the sound blaster's halfway to the max again. But this time, it's not Evanescence or Linkin Park. It's back to Red Alert - Fogger, then went to 98 Degrees - The Hardest Thing.

Why did I have to fall in love?

Stop it... Just stop...

I was about to download Photoimpact when something came up.

"What the...?!" The size was around forty megs. And the download time? five hours... Maybe I'll just download it after I buy another prepaid card.

Also, I've checked my AsianAvenue account again. I received a note from a certain member. I went to her personal page. You know what I saw? Pictures of her. You know what kind of pictures I'm talking about? You don't wanna know. I checked her guestbook. Yup. All but one were f***** off by her page, yet none of them did anything about it. What did I do? A simple report to AA. If I still see her webpage... I don't know what else to do.

Oh, the things used for Enzo's photoshoot were already returned. Someone placed the stuff just outside my door. And something else was included - a How to draw Manga book. It kinda motivated me to draw some anime... ^_^'

The results? It's definitely much better than before. The grasping of the sword is something that I should emphasize about my drawing 'cause it really improved. The face, too, was better.

But, despite all those... I'll still go with the stick figures when it comes to making comics. :p

Wow... It's five in the morning, and I'm still awake.

Yesterday, I was enlightened... I found out a lot of answers. But still, it made me think again. Hah. Brainstorming, still nothing doing. I'm really pathetic. I always wait for a miracle to happen. Obviously, it doens't come. It's because I don't do anythng about it.

There was already a path made from her. I decided to go through it. I was already happy going through that path... Until a strong wind sent me away, and putting me back to that cursed pit.

I read some past journals. The Memo, the cute Cattleya filler, and Alethea. It definnitely brought back pictures and sounds from the past.

Envy... one of the Deadly Sins. It's the most vulnerable to me. And I'm not just envying some people. I'm also jealous.

I couldn't blame them. I had no right. It wasn't their fault. It was all in my hands. I didn't do anything to strengthen it. Time passed, and the walls crumbled, without me repairing the damage.

Hmmm... New individual in my playlist. Gradius Perfect Selection - Free Flyer. Somehow, it has a melancholic tune, but there are also parts that would pull you to stand up.

Once there was a boy. He was lost in the middle of a blizzard. He was looking for any shelter or anybody that could help him. He could only see grey. The combination of the darkness due to the snow covering the sun's rays and the snow itself. He was calling, shouting for help. He could only hear a whisper from him, and the angry and endless roar of the blizzard. He was rubbing his hands as an effort to keep him warm. He could only feel the bitter coldness of the snow lying on the ground or flying around, and the wind's chilly air.

He was walking and walking. While finding cover, he was crying. The tears weren't flowing from his cheeks and falling to the ground. A second after it goes out of his eyes, it would freeze. As hard as a rock. The boy was crying more, for he couldn't bear the pain.

In his effortful yet pointless journey towards the exit door of the death-defying scenery, he almost stopped from the fatigue that was pushing him back. Suddenly, a girl appeared from his sights. The girl looked familar, yet he couldn't remember just who she was. "Who is she? do I know her? How come she knows me?" His thoughts were brainstorming. Then, the girl called out. "Do you need help?!" "Sure!", he replied.

The girl took his hand and they walked together, struggling to find somewhere to stay. The boy felt the girl's hand. It was bitter cold too, but it had more will, more strength than what he had. But he couldn't think straight anymore. He was just following the girl, going to where her hand was leading him.

Somehow, they stumbled upon a cave. They went inside. Just when they were inside, the boy collapsed, lied on the ground. "He must be tired and cold.", she thought. She took off her wool jacket that was keeping her warm. He wrapped it around the boy's body. She hoped for the boy's life, and waited...

An hour has passed. The blizzard's voice was still very loud, its temper still very hot, and its heart still bitter and cold. The boy slowly opened his eyes. "Where am I?", he thought. He almost coulnd't speak. He turned his head, and saw the girl. "A-are you all r-right...?", he said. It caught the girl's attention. "Ah, you're awake", she remarked. "Don't worry about me. I was worried sick about you."

She took something out of her pocket. Candies. She handed it out to the boy. "It's the only thing I've got," she said. "T-thanks...", the boy stuttered. His hand reached out to hers, to get some of those things that seemed like friut-flavored ice.

"You still need some rest. You better sleep for the while. We won't reach anywhere outside," she said, as she pointed outside. She looked at him. His face could show the struggle he had. And she saw something else. "Oh." He was already asleep. She just brushed off the flakes of snow from his forehead, then sat beside him, while watching the riot outsite the cave, waiting for it to end soon...

A couple of hours have passed. The boy opened his eyes once again. He saw himself in a house, wrapped in a blanket, lying down on a couch by the fireplace. He saw embers from the burning wood - it had enlightened his mind, and it had been keeping him warm. He sighed, as he smiled. But then, another though came to his mind. "Where is she?", he asked.

Then, the girl appeared. "Comfty?", she asked. "Much better than before," he replied. "Just a few more minutes and the soup'll be ready. Is there anything else that you want?" "Oh, no, not at all."

"Um...", the boy hesitated. "Yes?", the girl asked. He became silent for a few seconds and said "......Thanks. I owe you too much."

"You don't owe me anything. We're friends!"

Somehow, it all became clear. He looked at the window. The grey skies outside became blue. He saw the radiance of the sun once again. Snow wasn't present anymore. What he saw instead were trees standing tall and the grass blushing with green.

"Now, I know who she is," he said to himself. "She's my friend."

............

Vig... Sig... Thank you very much.

Woah... I received a mail from Bobbie. Um, I asked her The question (in past tense, since the prom would be over by the time she'd receive the mail.). Uh, she elaborated. Which is good, since the elaboration was quite long, and it was probably the first time she sent a (quite) long mail. ^_^' Anyway...

For those who went to the prom: Had fun? That question (may the tense be past, present or future) is what I asked to most people who did go (that I know, of course). Only one didn't answer it. Of course. Why should she? Her little secret's cover would be blown away if she responded.

I also asked her a lot of times if she had a date or not, and she keeps saying "What makes you think I have a date?" Before, I might not be able to answer her question, but one thing's for sure: She did have one.

Simple questions... I ask her VERY SIMPLE questions, yet she wouldn't answer it. My first question to her... Was about two weeks ago. It wasn't about her. It was about me. Via text, I asked her why she called me that. She never replied. She never will when I'm going to that topic.

I tried calling her, but no, she wasn't around. Oh, and I called her just a few minutes ago. I think it was his dad that answered. He said that she was still sleeping. That was tolerable, seeing that I know her sleeping habits - she wouldn't be awake at that time.

Hah. Just wait. The momment she'll wake up, she'd be "somewhere else out of her house".

Bullshit.

Just a side comment. My ear's literally in pain. Yup. It's because of that. but it's not Linkin Park anymore. It's now Evanescence.

Hmmm... Another side-comment.

*logs-in to Blogger account*
*types username*
*types password, BUT...*
*hesitates*

Something's wrong with the password. I think I should change it.

*continues buisness with the net*

April 5

Okey, I won't elaborate anymore the things that happened today. I'll specify.

Sometime at 2000 hrs., I called Sig. We chatted for a few minutes. Then ate dinner. Then called her again. The conversation reached until 2300 hrs.

She told me some things that she already told me back in one of the Special Edition entries. But this time... It was for sure. She had comments herself. Something... S***!!!

Her mom shouldn't have stopped her from our conversation. She was keeping my sanity.

At first, it was depression. You know, I actually cried in the conversation. After that, Sig soothed my mind that was turned loose. I recovered. Thanks, Sig... Helped a lot. Then, as mentioned a while ago, our talk ended at 2300 hrs.

After the phone conversation, I watched some T.V. Then, the worse came. I was thinking... I was thinking about that again.

I texted her "Having fun?" I waited , then my cellphone beeped. ??? It was Vig. "Hey.üHows it goin?", she said. Thanks too, Vig. It made my mind a little calmer. I'm still waiting... Is this the kind of waiting wherein you'll actually reach nothing but somewhere close to the end of your life?!

Frustration rose swiftly and reached at an alarming rate. Strangely, I took a knife. Yeah, the object that you use to cut things. And it doesn't just have a sharp blade. The blade's also similar to that of a saw. Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything with it. Unless the sanity's dropping at the same rate the frustration rose.

Winamp's currently playing Linkin Park - PTS. OF .ATHRTY - and is the only track in the playlist. The volume's halfway to the maximum. And since I'm using earphones, the sound will be focused to the earphones. And the earphones's range from the ear, obviously, is much closer to point blank. In other words... It's really loud.

You know, before, when having problems with her, I'd just plainly have v-shaped eyebrows. Like this. >:( Now, as I've typed a while ago, my mouth's releasing curses.

"By the way... Have fun."

April 4

Yes, I'm still typing the Special Editions. I think it's one more to go and I'm done.

You know, when I left my room, I saw... Ryan! (Ordinario) I guess Dom's friends are here. There's also Jeco, Yu-Acensi (Correct me with the spelling if I'm wrong, for I know I'm vulnerable to it.), Ace (Francic), Dan and someone else that I don't know.

While playing Megaman Legends 2, I discovered a new source for massive Zennies! Four blimp-like things "vommiting" flamming reaverbots! It was WAY quicker than than reappearing golden bird. And more motivating to do. I managed to buy that Power Raiser Omega (which costed 800,000 Zenny). Next to buy are upgrades for the Hunter Seeker! I've got enough. More than enough, should I emphasize. I think I have 800,000.

Still, Mistress Sera's too difficult to be destroyed. Oh well. I could make a kickback anytime. :)

After a few hours...

Woah, cool! Enzo has the Blade Arm! It's so powerful! And it looks cool too! When Megaman attacks, of course. It's not just a single slash. It can go to two slashes and a "finishing blow". Hmmm... It became weak versus bosses again... Just like my good ol' Homing Missle...

Oh, and I've finished MML2. Instead of using the Homing Missle, I spent my money on upgrades for the Hunter Seeker. You know, my money's 2,000,000. Thanks to those blimp-guys. :)

Night time. Enzo was in the net. He was talking to Sig via IM. Oh... She was there too.

Sometime this day, I made a phone call:

Me: Hello, may I speak with (insert real name here)?
Reciever: She left.

Ever since that incident... I always heard that thing everytime I called. Is she still at it? Is she pessimistic enough to remember what I did? Besides, what was wrong with what I did?

It's not funny anymore. It's not... It's just not.........

And it's not be bearable anymore.